I Am Enough
Written by: Kirsten Frey; Transitions Life Coaching
Hello, my name is Kirsten and I am a procrastinator.
Yup, lifelong procrastinator here.đđťââď¸
In high school it wasnât uncommon for me to study for tests the night before. Not with the subjects I did well in like english, history or biology, but those I didnât, like math and physics. I would do everything else but those until I was down to the wire and had no other option but to do it or failâŚand failing wasnât an option!
And thatâs where the procrastination was coming from. A fear of failing. A lack of confidence in certain areas. And not being âgood enoughâ. While I was never told that I wasnât good enough, it always felt like I had to show up in a certain way. It was expected that I would be well behaved, respectful, and get good grades. Anything less was met with disappointment. Never said, but deeply felt. So I showed up that way. It was part of who I was and I was proud to be âseenâ this way. But it wasnât the whole truth of me.
The truth is that I donât procrastinate all the time. In fact, there have been many times throughout my life that I have taken big, bold, audacious action! I moved out at eighteen. I chose to stay in Canada and become a citizen rather than moving back to the United States with my family. I became a police officer with all the learning and challenges that come with that profession. I took early retirement, leaving a stable career to follow a desire to make a contribution in a more profound and meaningful way. Helping people transform their lives. First through fitness and nutrition. Now through healing hearts from loss and helping them discover how to live their healthiest, happiest, most authentic life. Each of these steps required a giant leap of faith. Confidence. And Trust.
And yet, I still struggle with procrastination. And when I do it feels like Iâm ruining my own life for no apparent reason. I overthink which creates anxiety and stress. I am a big-picture person. I can see the vision but can get lost in the minutia. Especially as an entrepreneur. Iâm stepping out in a huge way, trying things Iâve never done before. Showing up in ways I never have before. Yet there is still a piece of that young girl who is afraid of not being accepted for who she authentically is. That if she shows up as the whole truth of who she is that she will be not quite âgood enoughâ. But thatâs what authenticity is. The daily practice of letting go of who we think weâre supposed to be and embracing who we are. (Brene Brown)
And the truth is, IÂ am good enough.
I am worthy. I am whole.
We all are!
We are more than what we âdoâ. We are more than what we produce. We are both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. We donât need to define who we are for anyone, including ourselves!
In Walt Whitmanâs beautifully simple words;
âI exist as I am, that is enoughâ.
