With Thanks

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Guardian Angels

This is so hard to believe.  It has only been one year and three months since I said yes to me. I was a broken woman lying on the floor. I gathered up all my pieces and carried them to someone I never met. At the suggestion of a dear friend I reached out to this woman. She changed my life. I am who I am today, because of her. As much as I love and appreciate my friend and my guardian angel for helping me, I also have to thank myself. I am the one who gathered the strength to reach out. I am the one who followed all her wonderful advice. I worked hard.

I am in shock when I realize it has only been a little over a year. It seems longer. I can’t believe I went from being a broken mess to the strong woman I am today. How did this happen? It happened because I said yes to me.

In the darkness, broken and in pieces I had nothing. I would like to believe my children kept me going, but I was in a place where I believed they were better off without me. This is completely not true! My children may be adults, but they still need me. Over a year later and I am dancing with happiness, something I could never have imaged.

Say yes to yourself. Yes to the things that make you happy. When you are broken it is impossible to say yes to anything, especially yourself. You feel that you are unworthy of anything; you are a waste of space and time.

I said yes to myself one step at a time. Yes I will get out of bed today. Yes I will shower every day this week, no matter how exhausting. Yes I will go to work four days and fake happy each day. Yes I will smile once each day.

Before long I was moving forward and the broken pieces were being stitched back together. I began saying yes to things I used to enjoy doing. Yes I will ice skate today. Yes I will walk in the sunshine. Yes I will take a dance class. Yes I will eat ice cream. Yes I will see a play.

In time I even began to hear the compliments. Yes I am sweet, yes I am strong, and yes I am smart. I heard them, then I started to acknowledging them by saying thank you instead of making excuses and finally I start to believe them. Yes, I am capable of great things.

By saying yes to me. My sunshine began dancing to those around me. I have the energy, time, love and patience to be there for others, eventually spreading my love to them.

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