Strong and Full of Love

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Creatively Hip

The storm rolls in sometimes; some storms are mild while others are more severe. My emotions are my weather system. I can’t control them. I have learned to live with them.

I know the pattern. Sunshiny days are the most frequent and glorious. I wish all days could be sunshine days.

I take my umbrella when it rains. I know to give myself space, rest easy and take lots of deep breaths. Then, if I really just need to release the downpour, I put on a really emotional movie and let the tears flow.

Afterwards, I feel relieved and renewed. I let go of the bad energy. I am ready for sunny days. A good cry is so good for my soul. It may sound silly, but it works for me.

On occasion, a full-on storm will blow in. I have to tread with caution. I never try to make decisions during a storm. If I absolutely have to I listen to my gut and ignore my stormy thoughts.

Storms are times I could say something I would regret later. I do my best to be honest with others. I will say I am having an off day and I will let them know tomorrow. If I am not feeling myself that day, it is not a great time to address things.

During storms, I want to bundle up and stay inside. I have changed this pattern. Just a few weeks ago I kept a lunch date with a friend even though I had an emotional storm brewing inside.

My lunch with her was just what I needed. I laughed, cried and laughed some more. As I left the restaurant I realized the storm had passed.

Almost 2 years ago a storm hit so hard it knocked me down and broke my heart into bits. I don’t like asking for help. My family tried to help me, but how do you heal a shattered heart?

I was living in darkness. My children are the only thing that kept me going, even though I believed they would be better off without me. This, of course, was an illusion created by the storm.

A friend finally convinced me to contact a friend of a friend for help. She gave me the tools I needed to work through the storm. I had the strength to listen to her. Her wisdom, along with my strength helped me calm the storm. She would not have been able to help me if I wasn’t willing to do the work. Thank goodness I was ready to move forward.

My heart isn’t completely healed. It will heal but it won’t ever look the same. Lies, deceit and abuse cut deep especially when they come from someone who says they love you. Someone who loves you will never hurt you like that. My scars have made me stronger.

I am a different woman now, independent, strong and full of love. I have my weather of emotions in check. I have my tools for each storm. I appreciate each one—they make me the beautiful unique woman I am.

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