Re-boot: From No to Yes
So for the first time since I began blogging I am late in posting. And not just a couple of hours or a day, but a whole week! (Our private community is one week ahead of our public blog.) I blame it on saying YES.
It’s an interesting journey to care for a caregiver of someone terminally ill, while also caring for kids and a home and balancing tasks with my hubby. Honestly, it’s tiring. It’s draining. There have been lots of tears. Well-meaning advice keeps landing on my lap – all around self care.
And YES while it makes sense, I find myself getting frustrated because when can I fit that in? I was saying no to self care.
I thought that to say YES meant that I would have to say no to my mom, or dad or kids – which for me negates my calling to be of service, especially right now as times are tough. Ironically, the more I resisted this idea of self care, the more the universe complicated the situation with a return to the hospital for dad, increase in seizure activity for my son, multiple calls to the school for my younger son. So finally….yes it was slow in the process, I said yes.
YES. Yes to self care. Yes to a week for me. I turned off social media. I postponed recurring appointments. I even stopped getting up early for meditation to allow me to sleep in to catch up on ever receding nights of sleep. I even took a vacation day for my mental health.
I read more. I breathed deeply more. I went outside in nature. I got a massage. I slowly filled myself up. The energy reserves were low. I still managed supporting where I needed but not at the same frenetic pace. So as I look to the new week, I think, what else can I say YES to for keeping my inner peace? I don’t know what the week will bring. I hope beyond hope that this week we feel like wow we’ve caught a break.
What I do know is that saying YES to me, remembering that little inner child that needs love and placing the attention on her too will make for a better week. Taking a break has renewed my commitment to meditation, to grounding with nature, to being present with myself and my feelings. So here’s to saying YES to me – and watching the benefits spill over into saying YES to others.