No Can be Beautiful

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

“No, no, no! Not again. I get asked to do things all the time,” my friend vented to me. She is not being singled out. I hear others speak about being roped into things they’d rather not do. This is a natural part of life, so we had better get used to saying “no” to the things we don’t want to do.

I am guilty of seeking out help or volunteers. When people see me coming I know they want to hide. I don’t mind when people say “no”. Their “no” is usually followed by a long explanation, but I don’t need one. I want to stop people, but I don’t want to be rude. The right person always appears and everything works out.

I never want to make people feel guilty or uncomfortable. If only others could see how relaxed my thoughts were, then they could relax too. Asking for help and saying “no” shouldn’t be so difficult. I was raised with the notion that it was an honor to be asked to help. And that you must be polite. What about honoring myself and being polite to my inner soul?

I used to say “yes” to everything. I was continuously on the run. I helped a lot of people, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t realize how important happiness is. I had faked happy for so long I believed I was happy.

Just this week I received a telephone call. I was asked to help out for an eight-month commitment. This is something I’ve done before. I know I could do it and I would rock it, but my heart isn’t there. I wouldn’t enjoy it. I had to let her know I couldn’t help this year. I told her I am honored she thought of me, because I am. They knew I would be great, which is a wonderful feeling.

I reflected on that phone call. In the past, I would have panicked, not knowing how to say “no.” I would have ended up helping out of guilt. Nowadays, my life is very quiet. I am at peace most of the time. This phone call brought joy. I said, “no” without panicking and with a warm heart. Someone from the past remembered me. This is a great example that you are being thought of on any given day.

When saying, “No,” you should feel joy and happiness for honoring yourself. You did make a commitment to yourself.

When I was asked to join “Consciously Woman”, I was excited and full of joy. You should feel that way to every, “Yes,” decision you make.

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