My Lighthouse

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Creatively Hip

I have an inner light. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. It shines through even when I am in a dark place. The light is my protector and shield. It gives me several warning signs: hair standing on end, coldness or a sick feeling. The light also guides me through the storms of life and my day to day activities. I follow my light without even thinking. My inner light sends signs: goosebumps, familiar feelings and remembrance.

I stopped following my inner light. I was so lost and in despair. I trusted someone else’s directions. I did what I was told, despite knowing it was wrong. When the rug was pulled out from under me I didn’t think I would survive. I couldn’t live without that direction—or so I thought.

It took time, but I slowly started to trust myself again. I started following my gut. I am filled with awe when I follow my intuition and my instinct is correct. There is peace in knowing I hold the key to my personal safety and my own dreams. I can make it happen. I just have to believe in myself. Which is harder than it sounds.

I pushed back all the obstacles and followed my gut. It led me on a beautiful journey. I didn’t know where it would end, but I knew deep down I would be okay. It was a risk. My gut could be wrong, but I didn’t care anymore. One of the benefits of being broken was that I had nothing left to lose.

I take a deep breath. I give my mind and body over to my intuition. My instinct leads the way. Your natural instinct will continue to guide you even in times of great darkness.

A few months after my old way of life completely disappeared and was turned upside down I went for a drive to nowhere. I was in a new city—my parents’ home town. I was broken and a mess, crying uncontrollably. I had no idea where I was going. Yes, I was driving when I should not have been. My mind told me through my sobs to pull over.

I was crying so hard I was physically shaking. I exited my vehicle to calm down and walked to the sidewalk. There stood a “For Sale” sign in the yard of the house in front of me. The brick home looked familiar. When I cleared my eyes, I was able to see the home that once belonged to my great grandparents. I was in shock. My shock turned to happiness.

My intuition led me to a place of safety. A home where life wasn’t always perfect, but they made it through. A place where dreams were dreamed, love was made and laughter filtered through the walls. Thank you intuition, for in a very dark moment, my gut knew I would be okay, even if I couldn’t see that at the time.

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