More Than Consequences

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Creatively Hip

My beloved dog Neika was well loved and cared for by my family. In return, she loved and cared for us. When she was ten I noticed her right eye was cloudy. I knew something was not right, so I took her to the vet and said I thought she had a tumor. The vet told me everything was fine, and that the cloudy eye was due to old age, despite it only being in one eye. One month later she had a seizure. I rushed her to the hospital, where I was told she had a cancerous tumor behind her right eye. Two weeks later she was gone. I know the early diagnosis wouldn’t have changed anything, as it was a rare and aggressive form of cancer. But I knew. I knew her better then the vet. I should have stood up for myself and Neika, but I let doubt get in my way.

I don’t listen to my natural intuition. Instead, I let hope or doubt guide me. I am not sure why. I tend to know what is going to happen, but put my faith in hope. Someone I love told me not to worry, that he would make sure I was okay. My intuition told me otherwise, but I ignored this and put my hope in him. I ended up hurt and broken. There are some lessons I have learned the hard way, and yet I still don’t follow my intuition. I guess I keep hoping someone or something will surprise me, though they haven’t so far.

I am a natural at keeping myself safe. I am great at making decisions. So why don’t I trust myself every day? I need to step back from others’ opinions. I need to let go of worrying about what others might think and take care of me. The decisions that are best for them are not always good decisions for me. I decided to go with my gut on all decisions for a day. What did I really have to lose?

I woke up to sunshine. I listened to my body.  My body tells me when I need to eat, sleep, exercise or go to the doctor. My mind may not want to exercise, but having the discipline to follow through sure makes my body feel great. I have a silent connection with me: my intuition. It knows me better than I know myself.

My intuition told me to go downtown. My gut told me to park my car and walk. I walked through the park and along the river, taking everything in. I felt alive and in the moment. Then my body spoke to me, letting me know it was hungry. I decided on a fresh salad. I started walking toward a restaurant. I glanced over and saw my dear friend Jane. We screamed in excitement and hugged. I ended up having a long, laughter-filled lunch with her.

If I would have ignored my intuition I wouldn’t have seen Jane. You see Jane lives five hours away from me but had decided at the last minute to accompany her husband on a business trip. She was walking around this very large city thinking about me but figured I was at work.

If I would have ignored my intuition even for one step I would have missed Jane. I would have passed by a few steps after she left. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed lately. Jane’s smile, laughter and friendship were just what my soul needed.

My intuition guided me to Jane. This to me was a powerful example of how interconnected everything is. We are connected to the universe, each other and our inner selves. What a beautiful day with my intuition and it didn’t let me down. I am now full of hope for better things to come on the horizon.

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