Written by: Collette Cottingham; Anontropolis
I struggle with random conversation. I never know what to say and God forbid if there is dreaded awkward silence! I dive into panic mode, heavy breathing, heart palpitations, shaking, mind racing which leads to hyperventilating. In panic mode random weird thoughts pour out of my mouth that have no cohesiveness to them.
I walk away having no idea what I just said or what happened. I then quietly pray to the universe that I never see that person again. Thus saving myself from more awkward embarrassment.
In those moments I am completely vulnerable. I don’t like being vulnerable. I work hard to avoid it. I let everyone know up front that I don’t like surprises, thus avoiding awkward moments.
When I know I will have a conversation with a stranger I prepare. I act out the conversation, so I am ready for all the possible scenarios. In a funny twist I don’t mind public speaking, because I have time to prepare, I am allowed note cards, I know what I am talking about, the questions are brief and there is a time limit.
Unfortunately in life we must suffer periods of vulnerability. Your vulnerability can make you stronger. You can see your weaknesses raw and real right in front of you. Some practice and eventually overcome their vulnerability.
This has not been the case with me. I keep practicing. I have improved. I no longer hyperventilate. I have accepted this goofball part of who I am. I usually laughed, my brain is quite hysterical.
After laughter, comes honesty. I am quite open that I have no idea what I said. In laughter I make my exit. If anything I hopefully made the person relax. We are all human, some more goofier than others.
Tell me about one of your goofball quirks?
Write On Ladies, Write On