Listening for the Meaning Behind the Words

 In Mindfulness and Meditation, Weekly Forum Discussion

How do I define myself?

It’s an interesting topic that has come up a number of times in the last month. I’ve been asked for bios for both the healing-practice side of my life, and for my moonlighting side of my corporate life. Of course, both are vastly different. But the process to define the ‘what’ of it is the same, and I find it difficult. To start with, I am a trainer and facilitator with 20 years of corporate experience with certifications, designations in multiple psychometric assessments, and training disciplines. I am a facilitator with years of experience working with leaders throughout the organization in both official languages, to empower and help develop their leadership skills. And then I proceed to list out some other achievements. It’s a piece, yes, but it doesn’t completely define me. On the flip side, I try to define who am I for my healing-practice side of life. I am a healer. Certified at this place, with this many years of practice. Working with all these types of people. Helping people heal from these types of stories. It feels like a laundry list. I don’t feel myself fully in those descriptions, either. Yes, I have accomplished those things, and this is the picture that accompanies the bio. Then is it my physical description? I am 152 cm tall, with hazel eyes and freckles speckled over the bridge of my nose into my cheeks. I am blessed with dimples in each cheek and sometimes brown, sometimes red hair; both colours hiding the platinum. The best physical description I ever had of me was the first time I met my father-in-law who proceeded to share that his son’s new girlfriend was 5’5″ and busty. Ha! I own the busty bit, but sadly will never reach the height he perceived. But again, the physical is not me either. It’s all true, it’s bits of me, but it’s not all of me.

As I broaden my reach and head for a higher perspective I am inspired to look at the task more from the lens of what is the essence of me? Pictures and accomplishments aside, what is the core reason for being that drives the decisions I make that lead to the outcomes and achievements on the lists I generate? I am a collaborative creator. I come at everything from a collaborative perspective. I recently underwent a series of assessments as part of the hiring process for this new corporate gig. And sure enough, the specialist who is walking me through my personality report marvels about how low my directing trait is,”Oh, you must avoid confrontation”. Heck ya! Who likes an in-your-face interaction? Then in the “are you a leader assessment”, again my competitive score is so incredibly low, “Oh, you won’t do well in a cut-throat environment”. Again, heck no. I can feel my insides start to twist in knots and my shoulders tense up just thinking about that kind of an environment. It’s certainly not for me. Neither test result comes as a surprise. For my whole life, I have come from the philosophy of you catch more bees with honey. I prefer to work with people. To coach and advise and inspire, but ultimately leaving the decision and action back to the person who is in need of taking action. Who among us want to be told what to do? My children at eight and 10 years old, are already demonstrating a healthy dose of defiance when being told what to do. I respect that and I have to find other ways to guide and direct, suggesting rather that telling. I inquire and ask questions to have them consider all the view points of the situation, and being clear on what the outcomes are for the choices that are being considered. In so collaborating, we create an open environment and a place where the boys feel like they can talk and be heard.

In a corporate way, the collaborative creator comes out in coaching. I always seem to attract the “I don’t know what to do conversation”, that ends in “I don’t know why I just told you all that, but thanks I feel much better”. Just two weeks into my new corporate gig, I found myself chatting with a colleague, which quickly turned from a here’s-an-overview-of-how-this-functions related to the organization, to a full-on coaching session. I find it easy to not only listen to the words, but to listen to what’s behind the words. It’s amazing to watch the energy behind the words, the changes in body language when topics are touched upon. In the end, I sit with the person, give her the space she needs, ask some questions and then turn it back to her for final consideration and game plan. Together, we have created a higher vibration and she is inspired to act. This wasn’t done with me as the expert pontificating, this was done again in a spirit of supporting and working with this person to help her see her path.

In a Huna healing the collaborative creator is very much at play. A client will get off the table and thank me for what I did. I only held the energy and the intention with this person. Sure, I got really present and connected and found the densities in the energy and worked them out, but without the client being involved, without the client being ready to let go of the stuck energy, I would be of no use. Together we create wellness, we create healing, we plant seeds. I don’t own the results. I am simply along for the ride as a co-captain.

Collaborative creation is at play every time I blog. It’s at play every time I write another inspired word or idea on a scrap of paper and tuck it into my ‘this goes in my book’ notebook. Collaborative creation is at play with every coffee or wine date, or every walk and catch up with an old (or new) friend. Even in a smile and interaction with a stranger at the coffee shop. And what gets created is magical, its ripple extends. A kindness here and now, creates a higher vibration and that person takes it back into their lives, inevitably passing on that kindness and higher vibration; the same occurs for me.

I know it’s there and in action when I am tingly and buzzing with peace after leaving an interaction. Every time I am truly present. Every time I am in the moment with someone or with my inner self, she is there, she is my ever present collaborative creator. She is me. I am she.

Written by: Melanie Groves; Metamorphosis Healing

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