I am an all-round patient person. It is who I am. I don’t get angry. Now with that said, I am emotional. I cry.
I cry behind closed doors when no one is around, usually in my closet. I don’t like people to see me cry. I am vulnerable and exposed. I have accidentally let my tears flow in public. I was in a state of deep sorrow. I noticed when I cried others cried with me. These people cared enough about me to empathize with me.
Even when I had the rug pulled out from under me. I didn’t get angry. I got emotional and went into a state of despair. I am not sure which is worse, anger or anguish.
Living in anguish wears on all parts of your mind, body and soul. In my anguish, I lost my cool. I was a mess, mentally and physically.
Two years ago I set out on a course to reclaim who I was. I began the climb out of despair. I found an outlet to release my painful emotions, a place where I keep my cool: dancing.
I begin in the starting pose, on my tiptoes. The melody begins to play. My hands go up and my body moves with the grace of the sweet melody. Dancing is a beautiful art for my mind, body and soul. I yearn for it. As soon as the music begins I am ready. My toes take to the sky. I am weightless, free; I can dance on air.
My body becomes a beautiful song. In the dance, I am smart, independent and proud. I matter. I am important and strong. I wield all the power and control; my mind, body and soul are one. The beauty of the song transforms me to another time and place. I feel love, acceptance, happiness and grace.
The dance brings joy and peace. I am fulfilled in this moment. I know all that I am and all that I can be. The dance is effortless and free. I am as light as air. I imagine a world full of peace and love.
In the dance, you are forgiven for all you have done. I let go. My stress and pain fall to the floor. The music takes hold. I see myself in the song. The voice within tells me I am good. All will be okay when I am dancing in song.