I Can Be in Flow if I Can Allow It
Thinking about writing this article on being in flow, I laughed and thought to myself: “Flow? Really? This topic couldn’t have come at a worse time.” But then, as Dickens has said, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Maybe that is true for timing as well. For a couple of days now life has felt really serious and hard, which felt like the opposite of flow. Yet, as I mentioned in a class I held recently, “You can find out what you wish for, not only by realizing what you want, but also by what you don’t want.” There are at least two ways to approach anything. So let’s explore!
When I have a fear of the future or anything else, or when I have the need to control because my feelings of lack trump any positive ion in my life, I am not in flow. It makes me rigid concerning my expectations. Things have to be my way, otherwise I feel lost or hurt, like a failure, or like a victim. Not being in flow is tantamount to being in resistance.
At first when people talked about the ease and grace that’s part of being in flow, I was in resistance to that concept as I thought it meant doing nothing and still having everything I wanted. I simply couldn’t believe that to be true. Well, it’s not. Yes, to me ease and grace are a huge part of flow, but it doesn’t mean I am not doing anything or not taking any steps towards my goals and dreams. When wanting to be in flow, we need to take action, not any action, but inspired action. Inspired action expresses our trust in the process. We take action and then allow anything to happen. We are able to relax into the process of life knowing that any outcome will mean progress, and also that failing at something is not equivalent to us being a failure. Contentment is a part of flow. Just recently I heard somebody say that being content doesn’t mean we don’t express our wishes, rather it meant that we are not bothered by them not coming true. I thought that was brilliant!
True heartfelt laughter is the epitome of flow for me. I can laugh with my friends when something is really funny and life is exuberant. I can laugh when things are ridiculously hard or heavy, and instead of crying I choose to laugh. When you laugh from the bottom of your heart you cannot help but be in flow, no matter the circumstances. Laughter gives us lightness that encourages flow in any setting.
Even in the dull, the bad, or the stormy moments I can be in flow if I can allow myself to just be there in that moment, without being in resistance to feeling less than optimal. It is okay to not be okay all the time. If I can live by that concept I don’t limit flow to only the happy, giddy, exhilarating moments of my life. When I can make flow less about the external happenings of my life, but my internal attitude towards them, then whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times I do life to the utmost and I enjoy the ride!