I Am My Own Education

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Creatively Hip

As I mentioned at the beginning of the year, I am spending this year on a journey of renewal. A renewal of my mind, body and soul. I didn’t realize how much I neglected myself for twenty plus years!

The subject I have been studying and learning about is me. I want to keep focused on the woman I am and the things I truly enjoy. I want a full recovery. My recovery won’t happen in a few days or months—it will take years.

I am on a path to learn about healing for the mind, body and soul. The information I gain will help me and others as well. My education will become a gift.

Learning is a process of moving forward. In order to move forward, I need to reaffirm who I am. When I make a decision, it is for me by me. I am not deciding my life based on someone else’s thoughts or beliefs. I need to make them for me.

This sounds simple enough, but it is actually quite difficult for me. I have to move past the negative thoughts running through my head. Another person made me believe I was incapable of anything. Those words are powerful, because I let them.

Changing how you see and feel is a daily challenge. You might hear me whispering, “That is how he felt about you, it was a lie.”

In my journey, knowledge is my power. I love to learn. It is usually a happy experience. Learning about myself has been bittersweet. In learning about who I am I have found joy and heartbreak. Every step is a learning experience. I am both the student and the teacher.

I have a few guidance counselors I check in with from time to time. I don’t want to get off track. They are great at reminding me how much I have accomplished. My counselors help me reflect on the woman I am today.

I want to learn more about myself. Which decisions are easy. Which decisions upset me and why. I need to learn how to calm myself in the mist of a storm.

Learning how to dance was an unexpected gift. Dancing has been a beautiful release for my stress and anxiety. When I dance the mirrors are all around me, yet I don’t look at me. I close my eyes, breath deeply. I ebb and flow.

The music starts; I am now a body in motion. I am free, relaxed…stress and fear leave my body. I am strong, smart, confident and okay. I have weathered many storms and I am okay.

I am my own sturdy shelter. I am the protector of my realm. I have the tools I need to cope, succeed and survive. Any tools I am missing or lacking I will learn.

The universe knows what I need, opportunity and knowledge are sent my way. I am excited and welcoming of the new things I have yet to discover.

My dance continues on after the music stops. I am a rhythmic pattern dancing with each decline and each regrowth. I learn from everything, mistakes, failures, triumphs and success. I am my own education. I am a professional student.

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