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Future by My Design

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

A surprise announcement will free you

My surprise announcement came three years ago. “Surprise! I am selling the house and moving to another State, but I don’t want a divorce.”

What?

I was in total shock. This was my whole life. It was all I ever knew. After he left, I was lost. He did everything. I was sorting and packing up 11 rooms, a two car garage and an outbuilding. Bills piled up, and I didn’t know how I would pay for all this. Things in the house broke.

He left me with a mess, but I did it. I am so happy I took before and after pictures because I am so impressed with myself.

I filed for a divorce. The most difficult decision of my life, but his surprise announcement was a gift. I just didn’t know it at the time. I went through a painful two years. I completely believed I was the horrible person he told me I was. He treated me horribly and left me with debt. I wasn’t going to make it without him, but I did.

I condensed my eleven room home down to one small room. I reduced our 23-year marriage down to a single box. It took me two and a half years, but I did it!

I had been brainwashed by him. There was a lot of work to do. I did the hard work re-discovering who I was, now I am free, I am free to write.

I have always enjoyed writing but believed I wasn’t any good. I have learned to treat writing as I do dancing. I am not very good, but I enjoy it and how it makes me feel. So I dance and I write, not at the same time of course.

I am not truly free yet. I will be completely free when I can independently afford to live on my own. I am not sure how to get there yet, but I will.

I know I will find someone to love me, but right now I am too busy loving me. I have the freedom to do what I want and it is fabulous. I have no limitations. Well, I have financial limitations, but this is a good thing. Money helps to keep my feet on the ground without getting too carried away.

The universe has guided me to my freedom, to finding my true self, to my dreams and it will guide me to my future. I will use my patience, understanding and love.  My complete future is being designed right now… surprise.

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Guardian Angels

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