A Little Rain Must Fall
Ah sweet Spring. Seedlings are happily poking up in their safe space in the garage. Garden beds are turned and soil topped up, just waiting for that just right temperature to plant the seedlings in their forever home. And for best results that garden needs rain. Rain to help the seeds take deeper root and to help them bear the fruit and veggies of the fall harvest.
In my outer garden I accept this process every year without protest, without pushback but simply with knowing that a little rain must fall for the sun to shine. A little rain must fall to make space for the growth that needs to happen.
Why then, as my internal storm brews, do I fight it? Why do I judge myself? Why do I reject myself for not being ok? The last few weeks have been stormy to say the least. People ask me how I keep it together. The truth is I don’t think I am. And while that’s ok for others, I even remind my clients, “It’s ok not to be ok from time to time“, I am struggling to hold the space for myself to allow myself the right of passage in my storm, to storm, to rage, to let the tears flow. Instead I try harder to keep it together, but the more I try the less I am able to sleep, the less I am able to keep the raging storm from bubbling to the surface. The irony is that I work with clients to allow them the safe space for the storm, for the spilled tears. And yet here I am in trapped in this toxic positivity to reframe and reframe when really it’s still just lipstick on the same pig.
From a Huna perspective, I have been given a gift. My little black bag of crap, my storm, has come up with its contents spilled all over. When your bag comes up it means you have learned enough lessons and so are being presented with this final lesson to close the loop and release the bag. That is if you choose to accept the lesson and face what’s in the bag rather than the knee jerk reaction of shoving that bag down deeper.
So be it from resignation, be it from tired, be it that maybe this is my intuition speaking, I am slowing down. I am coming back to me. I wouldn’t say this is my favourite rainy day activity but I will admit it is the most important. It involves me, with my tears, with my journal, with whatever comfort and safety I need to let the black bag up, spill and release the contents, forgive it, forgive me and then with the balance restored await the sun to come out. It inevitably always does. I just have to weather the storm first. Umbrellas up, it’s about to get wild.
Give yourself the space to return back to yourself. Reconnect to who you are. Spend a rainy moment with yourself and with this meditation:
Love and light to you this week, be it rainy or sunny.