To Feel My Heart Beat
Today was one of those days. Maybe it was because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe it was because Mercury is in Retrograde. Maybe it was that today is the full moon, super moon and spring equinox all rolled into one.
Or maybe it was because I was dealing with PMS. Whatever the reason, I didn’t feel like myself.
So it brings me to here…How do I deal with this?
These types of days can spring me into brow-furrow mode. I can see red and get irritated by any tiny thing. I just feel extra sensitive. Knowing this when I woke up, I began my morning with a ritual of self-love. Meditating, listening to music, an affirmation of, “Life is good. Life is amazing. All good things come to me” (which I even saved on my phone wallpaper to remind myself).
This day, for no reason, in particular, I couldn’t lift my mood. I just felt mono. What stresses me out about this, is I am a preacher of “think good thoughts” “be grateful” “change your attitude” but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t change. I find that I often put pressure on myself to change my mood — making myself “be happy.”
This was my awakening.
Maybe I try too hard to be “good”. To be perfect. To be uplifting and in a bubbly mood. I put so much pressure on myself to be this person instead of just accepting and allowing myself to be right here. Maybe I just need a big hug, or maybe I just need alone time (it is spring break and we did have 6 kids in and out of our house playing today).
Maybe I just need to breathe. In and out. To feel my heart beat. To smell the fresh air. To feel the sun on my face. To just be.
When the rain begins, we let it be.
When the sun shines, we let it be.
So why can’t I just let it be?
And here we are. This takes me through all those crazy moments, crazy days, hectic minutes. Acceptance. This is how it is. I could stress about trying to change it, or I can allow the ebb and flow. The best part is that I know it will change, it always does. And just having faith; I know that my chances of getting through the “not so good days” are 100%.
Accept, allow, and just let it be. I already feel better.