The Key

 In Personal Coaching

Written by: Sabine Roggermeier; Immersion Coaching


We tend to divide our emotions between positive and negative ones. I get it. Positive emotions are easier to bear, even enjoyable versus the negative ones that often feel heavy and dark. Nevertheless those lower frequency emotions have a reason for their existence as well. They give us feedback on our lives. They are part of our internal guidance system.

In the Body Code we talk about trapped emotions. Think of emotions as vibrational frequencies. They can become trapped in your body for two reasons: because they are overwhelming for you or because the normal process of an emotion coming up, being experienced and then letting it go gets interrupted. That means instead of an emotion coming and going it lingers energetically in your body and remains to have a disruptive influence on your well-being.

One of the sure-fire ways to stall the emotional process is by having resistance towards our emotions. We may push them down and try to ignore them because they feel so uncomfortable or because we consider them to be inappropriate or inopportune.

There are situations for example in which it is untimely to feel or express certain emotions, because they may distract our focus from what is more important in this moment (which doesn’t mean that they can’t be felt and acknowledge later in order to process them instead of stuffing them away). Also emotions express in very individual ways. Take a look at grief for example. Every person experiences grief and its accompanying emotions differently. Some process this emotion quicker than others. Some people show reactions that aren’t considered the “norm”. Some have a hard time to express this feeling at all. The problem is that with some emotions, especially with grief, we have societal expectations of what is proper behaviour concerning them. Therefore we might create resistance towards our own emotions simply because we may be dealing with them differently than is expected. Another time we may have feelings that we consider or were taught to be an inappropriate reaction, e.g. when your best friend gets a promotion or a raise and instead of feeling happy for her or him you feel envious.

There is one key attitude to ensure your emotions don’t get stuck: acceptance. It allows things to be the way they are. It doesn’t judge emotions to be wrong or inappropriate. It opens the door to understanding why the emotion is there in the first place. In fact acceptance allows for relaxation, support, caring, a higher level of perspective and understanding, even wisdom. It also prevents acting out emotions mindlessly, rather it helps to use the emotion to guide your path.

One way to move down the path of acceptance is to learn about the meaning and purpose of emotions. Knowing that the envy about a loved ones success such as a promotion simply points to what you want, too, or that feeling angry often shows that a boundary was crossed, whether by yourself or someone else gives you feedback concerning your own life; your needs and wants.

Another way would be to take some time to sit down and just feel and accept whatever comes up. Imagine yourself pouring any capacity of acceptance you currently have over your life’s frustrations. Remain in this allowing space for a few minutes and watch what happens. You may feel relaxation set in or a new insight about what is going on. Maybe you start seeing all the progress you’ve made so far or feel deep gratitude for the color emotions give your life.

Whatever you do use your key and open the next door.



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