Are you surprised that picked a quote that included deep breath? I bet not.
One of the things I have learned in my life is that how others react to me isn’t necessarily a reflection of me, but how they are feeling. I am not someone who takes criticism well, at all, whether it is good or bad. My constant need to perfect almost everything I do is just the way that I operate. So when someone tells me otherwise, it can be difficult for me to take. The best way that I know how to remain calm and positive is to breathe through it, and learn to just let it go. I remind myself that it’s not me, it is how they are feeling, and being able to move past it without giving it any more energy.
It takes a lot for me to get worked up about something, but when I do, I snap; I have a meltdown and lose it. But it’s not very often that this happens. Not a lot of people that know me, other than close family and very few friends have really seen me angry. The neighbours may hear me holler from time to time, but whose neighbours haven’t? I am a fairly calm, easy-going person, but sensitive. Depending on my mood, most of the time I’m able to just let it go. But, there are other times when things become too much and I become obsessed with the situation. My husband is good at reminding me that this never gets me anywhere, and he’s right.
Funny story, when my daughter Bella gets worked up, which to be honest is quite often — she is a person who is passionate and easily ruffled, I remind her to bring her mind back to a space of happiness and to take deep breaths. On one such occasion, while driving in the truck, she was all upset about something that happened at school, and I said to her “Bella, just take some deep breaths and calm down”. Well, she didn’t like my reaction, and said so, “Mom. I hate it when you say that, it stresses me out.” I laughed to myself. Okay, let’s try it your way then.
I feel that most of the time life is about the reaction. Circumstances will come and go, and the tools we use to deal with the situation often determine the outcome. One of my favourite exercises is to sit down with my journal and just write down all the things that come to mind that make me feel calm, peaceful, and happy. This is one way I am able to remain positive. When life gets crazy, I can go back to my list, and pick a few things that help me to come back to a better feeling. It’s nice to have those tools at my fingertips. I am getting better at taking compliments and feeling worthy of them. We can all use a little positivity in our lives, and when it comes from another person, it just feels so darn amazing!