Cultivating the C.

Written by: Sabine Roggermeier; Immersion Coaching

How are you doing with the confidence and its bodily expression you found during last week’s exercise these days? Did you learn something new about yourself? Or did you achieve something special? This week we want to go for another round and see how to cultivate confidence.

There is a lot of focus on self-esteem and it is important. You need to like yourself and value who you are. Yet without confidence you will not get very far.

Richard Petty, who is a professor of psychology at Ohio State University and has studied confidence for decades, defines it as the stuff that turns thoughts into actions. He says confidence first turns our thoughts into judgements about what we are capable of, and then transforms those judgements into actions. So confidence not only helps you to be the captain of your own ship in life but it also provides the propulsion.

Now how can you engage with yourself and life in order to cultivate your confidence? Here are a few ideas:

• Confidence is trusting yourself and your abilities. What activity can you engage in on a regular basis that builds and fortifies this trust?
• Stop beating yourself up for things that didn’t go as planned and even for the things you messed up yourself. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. Then forgive yourself and move on.
• Show up in life and try new things. Confidence is buildable. You may feel confident in certain circumstances, but not so much in others. Nevertheless you can expand your confidence by daring into new territory.
• Also be gently with yourself when you are learning something new. Give yourself space for trial and error.
• Stop questioning yourself. I don’t mean asking questions to learn and move forward. What I mean is mentally looping and second-guessing yourself. There is no need for doubting yourself; you know what you know.
• Come back to the physical expression of confidence again and again. Also notice what makes it stronger and what makes it disappear. I’m sure you have a favourite outfit for when you have to give a presentation or do anything else where you need that boost in your confidence. It works like an armor and makes you feel invincible. What else gives you that feeling?
• Take good care of yourself. It’s not easy staying confident when you don’t eat or sleep well or move your body and mind.
• Approve of yourself. See the good, better, best results you created in life. Take them in and let them support your confidence.
• Don’t get into a rut, color outside the lines instead. Branch out. Don’t think like everybody else thinks; think the way only you can think.
• Know that while you are in charge of your ship by steering it you cannot control the wind. There are things in life you cannot control, you can only allow. Be confident in allowing, not in controlling.

Now where is your confidence leading you next?