Choose For Yourself
Written by: Sabine Roggermeier
As women we have this internal desire to do things that are meaningful. Doing such things deeply resonates with us and makes our hearts sing. At the same time and often because of said desire we wear many hats: wife, mother, daughter, friend, lover, boss, entrepreneur or employee (maybe even with a side business), visionary, volunteer etc. and not least of all woman.
When we are many things to many people we often automatically compartmentalize our lives. As much as this supports us to keep things structured and clear the weird thing that sometimes happens then is that we don’t feel we give a proper service to the people around us in the many different roles we have. We start looking outside of ourselves to check whether what we do is good enough. We might even wonder if others think we’re just an imposter; trying to sneak our way through life.
Let’s put this dilemma into another setting to take a further look at it: Imagine the captain of a large ship asking the captain of another ship passing by: “Could you tell me where I am and where I need to go? Where should I steer my ship? And what do you think about the route I have chosen to get from Mumbai to New Orleans?” Does this sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me? If so then why do we often choose to live our lives that way?
What happens if instead of focussing on how others perceive you and what they think about you the center of your attention is you? What happens if what you think, feel and perceive is the only source of positioning? The result will be one of those buzz words everybody reaches for these days: authenticity. This kind of authenticity though is not the one where you let everyone know what you feel in every moment and maybe even share it on social media. This authenticity is about setting yourself up by the values and understandings you carry inside of yourself, not by the judgement of others. It’s you choosing for yourself and taking responsibility for the outcome. While the latter part is something that can be at times uncomfortable making us want to avoid it, it is a very powerful place to be in in your life!
This week’s homework:
Where can you show up as the captain of your boat choosing for yourself?