Acceptance is Key
As I was looking for a quote to post on Instagram today I came across this one among others: “The reason we suffer from our emotion is not because of the emotion itself, but because of our resistance to that particular emotion.” While I honestly don’t know if I agree with it 100%, my experience is that resistance makes any negative emotion harder to deal with for sure. And it makes it stick around more persistently.
That’s what makes acceptance key. When I feel into the word acceptance I notice it allows for relaxation, support, caring, a higher level of perspective and understanding, even wisdom. And I’ve been thinking I need more of that in my life, for my emotions as well as for other things. While I feel the need to manage my emotions, “manage” to me has this connotation of dealing with a misbehaving child in order to have them do whatever the grown-up wants them to do. And that approach to “manage” seems harsh to me. So while I still want to create the result of not having my emotions deviate me from my goals, I need to focus more on acceptance and love in my personal version of emotions management.
Last week, for example, there was a point when I felt utterly frustrated with myself. When I feel really frustrated with myself, it not only creates a lot of emotional friction, it starts wearing me out. A discussion on Friday helped me change my perspective and see that my frustration actually stems from my deep commitment to improving myself. It’s actually my inner trailblazer talking. This week I had a conversation with a lady who commented on her life in the last ten years lacking most of the things she really wished for. She said it in a manner as if she had given up on that ever to change. I saw zero frustration in her, just hopelessness. Up until now I often use my frustration as a reason to beat myself up, but this conversation made me deeply grateful for my frustration with myself as “simply” accepting that some things currently aren’t the way I would like them to be would make it possible for my frustration to drive me instead of wearing me out! I guess I always thought that accepting the things how they are when they are not what I want them to be would mean standstill.
In order to strengthen my acceptance muscle I had the idea to take a few minutes, maybe even every day, and sit and just feel and accept whatever comes. I did that for the first time today. As I sat cross-legged on the living room floor and closed my eyes I was thinking about my current frustrations. After a minute or so I was not only able to feel love and acceptance, but a relaxation set it. And I started to see all the progress I have made in the last year and felt deeply grateful for it. Now that is a muscle I’m happy to train!