Thank you, Friend
I know, from experience, that sometimes in the quiet hours you can go out of your mind with worry. I make myself available almost all year 24/7 to my friends and family.
I respect the fact that people have children, work, etc. and therefore can’t necessarily be available all the time. I can, though, and if someone is sad, angry, stressed, worried or in a state of full-on panic, I’d rather be there for them, than find out the next day they felt alone.
Sometimes even if a person is living with family or friends, they can feel alone because they feel they can’t share their thoughts and feelings for one reason or another. Well, they can call me anytime they can catch me which is usually anytime except when I’m on vacation and happen to be away from my phone.
One night I had a friend call me at 2:30 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. She woke me up twice and I’m so glad she did. She was dealing with a lot at the time. I think it meant a lot to her.
I love reading this. It is the other side of the story of a friend of mine that has made me really angry over the last few years. We are very close, and yet over the last few years both of our lives have been very stressful. This makes his personality, well, difficult. And because we are so close, he doesn’t hide that from me. His exact behaviour is a huge trigger for me – that abusive male. The hair on the back of my neck stands up.
Recently, we experienced a death in our circle of friends, and we all have come together to very consciously support our deceased friend’s brother – his twin brother and also our dear friend. To be brief, this is a group of friends, spread across the country with a what’s app “hub” to communicate to each other our friend’s whereabouts and emotional state. His brother’s death was addictions and depression related. Ugly.
Enter legal and financial matters, many of which our still living friend could not afford or manage emotionally, all pushing to be resolved asap, and before the funeral. Fast forward, now a month later, he is back on his feet, the memorial services are complete, the legal stuff is being managed positively, and one of his friends in his hometown arranged a go fund me project that softened so much of the financial difficulty. Things are not just good, they are amazing. My friend is back on his feet, not just from the loss of his brother, but in many areas of his own life, including his own difficulties with alcohol. It’s really incredible.
So much love around this man, and so much of it behind the scenes. The number one player in the success of this situation? My “abusive male” trigger friend. HE is that person, who to spite all of the things going on in his own life – kids, small business, college teaching position, busy wife, stampede committee, Murdoch Mysteries (his wife’s family are the horse people for the show!), a father starting cancer treatment across the country in Calgary, and a father-in-law in cancer treatment on this side of the country – any one of us can call, even now in our (idiot) 40’s at 4:30 am and he would be there. Absolutely. And he was.
In this situation with our friend, he was the one who stood between our friend and a group of really aggressive insurance agents, and then pushy lawyers. He was the one who prevented papers from being signed on impulse, without real understanding… there is no need to go into those details, they didn’t happen. My friend made sure that he was always available, on the other end of the line, in meetings, in the middle of the night, all day long.
I’m so grateful for you posting this comment. I suddenly see my friend clearly. I see him, and not my own issues, my own projections. This is huge. He’s been there for me many times like that over the years too. The other parts of his personality, I can ask him to adjust. I could communicate.
This will not just solve a difficult situation with my friend, this will solve a difficult pattern in my relationships.
And thank you for and from all of the people YOU have done that for, and still do it for. Ha… and for the me-types over the years who don’t make the phone calls. Thank you for many times hunting me down and yarding me out of the rhubarb.
Love you Lady.