Miscellaneous Parts
Adrienne:
I procrastinate cleaning up my studio! It’s the giantest of GRRRRRS. There are so many little miscellaneous parts, and all of them can be used for something fantastic… maybe. And there are so many well-loved beads! Every inch of my studio is a project – past, present and future. I love every single one of them, and I just can’t part with them!
Unfortunately this ever present mess of stuff creates a total aversion to making beads! I go down there, and I immediately want to leave again. What used to be exciting and fun about my studio space is totally changing. I want neat, tidy and minimalist. That to me, these days, feels creative. I really do find that strange. It’s like the anti-me!
Lately I have been cleaning up and organising while I am making beads. This means not as many beads get made, but it also means I am using my creative focus as the way to decide what stays, what goes, and how the things that stay are organised. It’s making for a fun process – albeit slow! – because when I am making a bead, I think about what change I will make at the end of that bead. I go and do the change, and while I am engaged with the “stuff” of the studio, I sort of cultivate in my mind what will happen next. Then I make a bead, and when I return to the studio mess, I know exactly what I want to do and I do it.
It’s a really weird feeling to be stuck in that spot with the studio. I know I would be enjoying it so much more if it were “ideal” but I have such a hard time letting go of the things I don’t want anymore. It’s like the issue is more the difficulty of letting things go, rather than procrastination.
Amber:
Yes, I agree. My procrastination would be difficulty letting go also. Thank you for pointing that out.
Adrienne:
Totally.
I always wonder with myself what the need for all that stuff is. I don’t even want most of it, and I am so often surprised by what I find is still there! I was thinking about that last night as I was falling asleep, trying to see if I could get the frustration to point at what the real issue is…
Poor decision making skills. It’s as basic as that. I open a little box of misc parts and I am instantly overcome with the question: what do I do with all this? It’s SO obvious. I mean some of these little boxes or bags could just be thrown out without looking in them, but I am compelled!
I did, however, go to the silver wholesaler today. Parked, walk 5 blocks, in, out, walk, un-park…. less than 35 min. That’s a record.
I’m loving reflecting on this, and seeing how it relates to my “procrastination”. That description of what I am doing doesn’t always describe what I am doing, and yet I accept it as the quickest way to explain to myself what I am doing. I need to be self-accountable, and that label or judgement that is procrastination hurts me AND keeps me honest about how I spend my time.
Much of my “procrastination” is a giving up in the moment. I have so many little tasks that are “not in my genius” and take a lot of time to learn and do. I have a lot of incomplete tasks on my agenda because I have to do something else – that may take an hour to learn or light on fire first, sweat the onions so to speak – in order to complete the first task. Admittedly a few of those in a day and I quit I quit.
Having this topic, and this awareness of my process in my glass studio, then followed up by record-efficiency at the silver dealer, and I can see it’s all worth it. Perhaps I would be less inclined to “procrastinate” aka tap out to an early beer o’clock because I’m frustrated, if I included an acknowledgement of the cumulative successes I have as a serial-entrepreneur.
I’m actually closer to my goals than I thought I was! A year ago, I went to the silver dealer. It took me twice around a busy Toronto block to get into the parking lot, not to mention the 10 minute re-commute because you can’t make a right on Queen Street from any place in the neighbouring Universe. I paid for a FULL day of parking because the guy behind me was impatient and I can’t read instructions when I’m feeling someone thinking I’m stupid. I walked the 5 blocks to the silver dealer (a revolving door AND and an elevator, both on the no-not-ever list), realised I had left the examples of the parts I needed in the car. Rinse. Repeat. Then I was there so long trying to figure out where everything is kept; imagine a room that looks like a library, but the shelves are rows of drawers with little windows so you can (maybe) see what is in them, slamming your finger several times. You wimper quietly in the last aisle because the woman at the desk has zero time for weakness.
Ok – stop it! But I’m not embellishing! A year ago, my trips to the silver dealer were taking me hours. and creating a lot of expensive misc parts! Please see above description of procrastination a la studio… it’s a loop!
I love this topic! I NEVER would have noticed how streamlined my bead biz is…. I even have a standard collection of work. I’ve settled into a style. That’s huge as an artist if you want to have a successful business.
Ha ha – who knew Procrastination Nation could create this much momentum! For me, being a successful entrepreneur is truly measured by the sum of all the parts. Having this opportunity to see the big picture accomplishments creates immeasurable certainty.
Certainty is the cure for all that fear. I am definitely sure I’m succeeding.
