Marvelous, Darling. You Are Absolutely Marvelous.
Parker:
Today, I have been going out of my way to give myself compliments. In my mind, they sound like something I would hear from a friend, or perhaps what I would say to someone else.
A sample:
“That skirt looks really good” | “I think it’s great that you’re sticking to these healthy breakfast choices” | “Your hair looks nice today!” | “You are really focused at work today!”
[at the gym] “You’re really strong” and “Eight minutes on the bike? That’s fantastic”At the gym I would look around and pay people compliments in my mind, and then say the same or similar to myself. It became a bit of a (positive) game, actually. And what’s more interesting/fantastic/bizarre – while standing between sets at the gym, a woman came over and said to me “you have great technique”. Amazing!
And amazing because I don’t converse with many people at all at the gym. And she doesn’t seem to be a lunchtime regular, as I haven’t seen her before. I have been going to this gym at lunchtimes, three times a week, for over a year, and NO ONE has stopped and given me a compliment. And yes, here it was, a compliment when I was paying myself and everyone else compliments in my head!! I tell you, it really made me smile. And good technique is a high compliment!
Bring on the love!
Adrienne:
This.
I give people compliments all the time. It’s a bit of a reflex, as sometimes I am overwhelmed by how awesome someone is, or looks, or is wearing, so the compliment just blurts out. I was always kind of embarrassed, especially if it was a stranger! Then one day, for no reason, I saw how great the compliment made the other person feel. And then I felt amazing too!
I really do think it’s contagious, the feeling good part. And not just in the moment. It starts to set a “feeling good” when I am around that person that sets the tone of the entire relationship.
I have rolled this into a conscious practice over the years, careful of course for it to not be too over the top. People DO resist compliments, so if I feel someone is resistant to them, then I keep it to myself. It has the opposite affect if they are unwanted.
This Christmas, when I connected with the women’s dress shop as a place to sell my jewellery, this practice was returned! A few of the ladies who work there always compliment me, either on my jewellery or my appearance. Yes, it is what they do for a living, but it is also very genuine. It feels amazing!
Most important, though, the exchange only feels amazing when it is a real compliment, especially between women for some reason. I’m not sure if that is true for everyone, but it definitely is in my experience. To put that into words makes it seem contrived and unrealistic, but when a woman compliments me, it creates a connection. That is much different than how it feels to be complimented by a man; it feels good to be complimented by a man, but it does not create that particular connection.
I wrote this earlier already, but I am looking for as many ways as possible to do practical self-love for this discussion. It’s great to have a foundation of understanding already about the power of compliments. It’s fun, easy and powerful – super love!
Oooh. Furthermore, this feels like a more progressive practice than mirror work for me, where you tell yourself “loving things” to your own face. I’m much more connected to how things feel, and how I feel when I am moving around. I really like the idea of walking to the car and complimenting myself on my boots, or the way my hair feels, or the fact that I am on time, or that I have a cool car that I love.
Hey Lady! Nice Ride!
That feels awesome to me.
