Leaving Us Aglow
Maybe a friend or loved one called for advice, or just to talk and be heard. Maybe I empathized, gave advice or echoed their feelings in a way that made sense to them. I may have given them a compliment to let them know they were on the right track; I became the mirror for their own strengths or ideas.
Conversely, I know it has happened to me. I have felt understood in feeling and in words. I have received clarity from a conversation when a friend brings up a different side of a puzzle, concept or issue. I have realized truths about myself, I have seen things in a new light, and I have felt renewed.
These moments are sincere and strong – they might unveil a new way of seeing the world, if even for only that moment. It’s as if a ray of sunshine is beaming directly onto one part of us, leaving it aglow. These moments are human connection points. To be able to give someone clarity about themselves, their lives, their desires or dreams is a deep compliment, and most often it is unintended, unplanned. Being able to see the lightbulb go on for that person is a wonderful feeling. I am always grateful for the people that bring me this sort of clarity, love and thoughtfulness, unintentional as it may have been for them as well.
Not all compliments have to be intentional. They can it be nuanced, a compliment turned into energy and feeling without a specific name or mission. They are brought into being only through caring for and loving others. In my mind, they are the most important compliments.
With this week’s topic I saw that complimenting someone has so many more forms than just saying words. You now added giving advice to my list. The kind of advice that is heartfelt and inspired and doesn’t come from one’s ego. I can see how good you are in giving that kind of advice just by the way you worded it now and many times before. When there is heartfelt honest positive human connection anything turns into a compliment.
I fully agree with this!
Thank you Sabine. Yes, you have put it so very well: when there is heartfelt positive human connection anything turns into a compliment. Thank you for putting it so succinctly!
Great to read this, this morning. I had THIS unique experience last night, and this thread gives me an opportunity to reflect on its importance, the what actually happened.
I stayed at my parents’ house last night. It was impromptu, and Mum was being her awesome self, helping me put together a day’s worth of snacks for today’s work day. Yes, a total compliment to what I am doing in my life, the dream I am working towards. I’m full-out this week, and there she was at 10 pm cooking me a chicken breast for the next day. I was ready to play the Pizza Pizza card. She knows this will slow me down. She was, as you say Lia, that ray of sunshine, who made sure that I was properly fed, properly fueled.
It doesn’t seem like much, as a little story here, but really it’s huge. I’m doing 7 am to midnight days and loving it, but everything is metered. It’s all precise. When she jumped up and started cooking, it wasn’t just lunch the next day, it was “I believe in you. Keep going!” She met me where I am.
That’s a huge compliment. In my own mind, I am showing up to the party, after almost 8 years of primping and preening this vision-dress. I’ve done my hair. I’m wearing fantastic shoes. The reality last night was the opposite. I was tired and sore, and covered in paint. I actually smelled bad ha! When she jumped up and started cooking, I felt just as much positive energy as if she was admiring me, all decked out, and said “wow, you look fantastic.”