I’m Learning to Craft the Impulse

 In Weekly Forum Discussion

My guilty pleasure… The Vampire Diaries.

There are a million quote-pics, but this one was the one for us. CW is every day for me and it’s the place where we get to be unabashedly awesome. My every day includes this gratitude, and perhaps is driven by it. I’m all about the full circleness of your reflected awesomeness.

I have loved vampires since I was a child, and finding this show on Netflix a few years ago was total heaven. These vamps are young, hip, leather jacketed, and the writing is spectacular. I absolutely love myth and story, and in this particular show, I am loving how they communicate. It IS like a soap opera in the sense that the dialogue WAY more than people actually communicate in real life, but the difference is that what comes out of their mouths is the truth about what they are feeling; whereas, in a soap opera, the characters are literally saying the opposite of what is going in their heads.

Yes, this is a practical and FUN addiction – and now Sat. am ritual – but the truth is that it provides me an example of how people communicate truthfully. AND it also, big pictureally, provides an example of the value of fiction, the fantastical kind that is in my head and begs to be story-ized. I have it under control though, I no longer watch it on Netflix. I had Netflix for almost 2 years and it was honestly one of the key tools in me recreating my zen and pulling my genius-life out of the tank, BUT for the last month or so that I had it, I was absolutely aware of how I was escaping for no reason any more. It was an hour or 2 at the end of the day that took me away from my own vitality. Now, I do my vitality all week in the eves, and I sit down Sat am and watch the Friday night episode that is available on line.

Watching it this way is a total joy. I hang out in my jammies, drink a coffee, and love love love the story. This is the last season. The plot is about how 2 psychics are messing around with the main character’s free will. Of course this moves me to ponder the things that happen around me, and because of me… perhaps? My intuition is beyond me it feels, and massive – I have spent the last 10 years training it to myob, to be selective and useful – and lately I have been noticing that it might also be a creative force, not just a mechanism to understand the world. I mean, it facinates me, this thing about manifestation – that we are all addicted to, yes indeed – and I think it is the intuition becoming a creative force.

The plot, exactly, this season, is 2 psychic sisters, one good, one bad. For me, this is MY existential crisis – the over all theme of the entire series. Is being this sensitive make me good or bad? And what does that have to do with writing? Every thing. The writer’s role in society, and all. I have watched several interviews with the writer’s of the show (OK, not totally absolved of my TV before bed. I’m an addict, and I try to make good with something learny from you tube. Interviews.). It is absolutely magical, literally couldn’t have ordered a better scenario to help me understand the value of my place in society. One of the writers is the stereotypical creative-impulse writer and doesn’t really care about where the story goes; it is an impulse, an innovative compulsion that he doesn’t suppress. The other writer consciously uses story to create a positive impact – innovative teaching – on the audience. I am now loving this series in a whole new way. How to craft the impulse to an audience who wants to learn that something.

That “something” does change often, or there are lots of them, whatever-not-sure, and comes via my intuition. All I needed to find was the “why” connected to “bliss” connected to “natural born talent”. I am currently looking in my notes to find my courage.

Yes, that’s a lot. And to me it’s everything, my every day at the moment is this blissful thing. It has taken me 25 years to “journey” back to the place where I wanted to write fiction for a living. I thought I would be lost in that dream forever, but suddenly, I woke up and realised I am doing the physical writing part, the “how” of the blogs and the platform I’ve created, and now suddenly my mind is able to accept the “why” of fiction, that it is possible to contribute to life (my absolute biggest value) with my greatest joy and natural born talent.

It’s all in the same glass these days. I’m drinking my OWN bad ass Koolade. Typo intended.

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