I NEED to Exercise GRRRRR!

 In Weekly Forum Discussion

I’ll definitely be the first to jump in on this one. My most immediate need is a big need!

A consistent exercise plan. Grrr. I have no idea why I am so resistant to making exercise a scheduled thing! It’s not natural for me to be sedentary at all, and the natural thing for me to do regularly is running, but because of all the sitting required for my work at the moment, my back is not at all happy about running. The frustration comes from me not being able to commit to the “slow” of walking for a few weeks first, and the slow of yoga – both would solve the back problem in a couple of weeks.

In fact, as I think about this resistance – I can feel it now as I’m writing about it, the literal impossibility my mind has created around this, so weird! – it’s really something in my mind, and not my body at all. My mind makes excuse after excuse, and then goes into the reasons I have those excuses at all, like a loop, and I’m certain as I sit here writing all this down that the time my mind spends on the thinking of this, I could have walked an hour already. It’s quite incredible to be aware of how ridiculous that resistance is, those “rationalisations” that are present every time I think about putting my shoes on and just walking out the door, or going into my yoga room (I have an entire room dedicated to my yoga mat; it’s not a space issue!) and spending 30 min doing sun salutations, just to keep it simple.

All this thought while my body is literally begging to get up and go.

My mind has a “quick-list” it refers to, and it’s so amazing to suddenly be aware of how it’s the same list every time, and just the thinking of this list, the repetition of it, makes physically exhausted. Such a palpable change in how my body feels as I look into all this – literally ON and then OFF. It’s quicker than breathing, and honestly the force of the ON is far stronger, and the OFF feels like how it looks to ignore a dog when it’s begging to go for a walk. The dog doesn’t give up and yet it doesn’t walk itself either.

This feels like the twilight zone wow.

OK, mind, to be clear, the reasons not to go for a walk are:

– I don’t have the time and it takes too long

– my current location is uninspiring

Not true and I have done tons of walking in uninspiring places. To add to the weird of all this, the opposite rationalisations happen very easily.

The reasons for not running:

– back problem freaks me out

– walking is the solution; see reasons not to walk

Also ridiculous.

Reasons not to do yoge:

– my mind is moving so fast and thinking all of the time; taking a “break” to do yoga

Ack! Stop right there. There’s the “issue”. My mind has rationalised that exercise is taking a break. My mind also thinks taking a break is a weakness, and I would never admit (without this discussion) that I do, absolutely take breaks during the day. I take approximately 30 min to drink a coffee after clients. I turn everything off, sit quietly and drink my coffee. I do this again most days after I walk my Grandpa’s dog. I come home, make a coffee, sit quietly and drink a coffee. I’ll bet this is just slightly over an hour a day in total. And better, it is NOT about moving fast. This is the epitome of slow. I purposely move slowly to create a calm experience for myself.

And yes, you can absolutely laugh now. This moment may be calm, but the after effect is not at all calm. If I’m really really honest, it worsens the “need” for exercise, and then I don’t do it. Please refer to previously listed excuses.

Wow. This has been a GREAT share for me. The awareness around the reason for the resistance to exercise allows me to totally reframe the reason I exercise. It’s not a break at all, and it’s definitely not about weakness. It’s about feeling great inside my strong body – yes I’m sedentary currently but I am a lifetime of powerhouse athlete actually. In addition, last week’s discussion about the Artist Date had me recognise the connection between movement and exercise and my creativity, the stuff that fuels my vision of writing for a living.

Fortunately, I am going to be away for the next 2 weeks. I took a dog sitting job in cottage country so I could write in an inspired environment. The Homeopathy blog is finally ready for completion. I couldn’t have planned that more perfectly if I tried! It will be just enough time to start a new habit – walking in the am – and long enough away from my outdated habit of taking a coffee “break” to rebalance during the day.

I don’t really need to be rebalanced gently a couple of times during the day. I need an opportunity to let my body move around in all this awesomeness. My “work” is going really well these days, and I have a ton of energy. It feels great to see the need to actually spend that energy, rather than conserving it via a “break”.

I’ll bet that will solve the coffee/anxiety thing I have resistance to solving ha! I can see already that this week’s topic is going to help me make some of the changes I need to make, and really easily. SO looking forward to that!

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