Accomplishment, Stamina, and Vision Re-Clarity

A:

So inspiring to see the much needed clarity in you too – as well as the great success at the same time. I love that! And I NEEDED it!

I have several things on the go also, and honestly I have missed the pace it’s been at for the past few weeks. The coolest thing is that somehow I have come to a place where all the pieces are running really smoothly, and yes, it’s busy, but it is not effort. It is enjoyable!

My fave part is that I am coming into such a calm about everything (that’s actually an essential goal, and can’t be worked on independently from everything else, so that’s HUGE! Yesterday had to run completely smoothly. Start in Westport with clients, drive to Hamilton in the traffic, see G and the dog for a super fast visit, and then be at the art show in the eve.

Well, I did it all! I even had energy to spare. When I arrived I was pretty stressed out from all the traffic, and walked in late to a very busy situation. I had a near-wobble emotionally and I literally almost cried and quit everything, but then somehow I had the energy to talk myself through the reality of it. I was really tired, strung out from the irritation, I lost the chains for the pieces I finished during the week, and I forgot my float. And when I got there another artist had been moved into the shop, my display table relocated to outside. I didn’t have whatever it takes to push into the space that from my fragile perspective did not include me at all. I went into this weird “outsider” place in my mind, and a failure, and several other crybaby thoughts!

Grrrr.

But somehow, I had enough left to talk myself out of the tree. It was amazing. I took a breather, and somehow had enough wit about me to know that I was not seeing things clearly. I told myself to stick to the plan, go through the motions, and fake that moment until I became comfortable again. It only took about an hour before I was right on track again. The missing chains didn’t matter, the missing float didn’t matter, and I suddenly started noticing how much the shop owner and the other artists were enjoying me and assuming my inclusion actually, not excluding me.

I’m just about to get back in the car and drive back to where I am dog sitting and painting for the week. I feel really proud of last night’s practical accomplishments, and I now have the opportunity to also be proud of my emotional accomplishments, plus my stamina. I’m stoked to spend a few hours in the car in my happy place (there will not likely be any traffic today) and put these 3 energies together; accomplishment, stamina, and vision re-clarity.

Oooh, also, as I left last night, I felt the other artists as envious of me as I am of them! Sometimes it’s great to be able to feel other people’s energy ha! I was definitely proud of myself, nice to have that validated.

P:

This is so fabulous A. Having had the pleasure of witnessing you and your process the last few years, this is a huge win, you should be proud.

So much resonates for me here as well. It is nice to take note of the emotional growth and stability that i too have cultivated. At this point there are many upgrades that need to be done to the vision but all mostly on the actual what it looks like vs the how it feels. I had for a long time talked about my vision as to how i wanted to feel, a lifestyle and that part is there. Now it is about fine tuning what it looks like everyday. The emotional balance is here though which again huge win, and it feels like i have stepped into myself, i can tackle what ever comes next with so much more grace and enjoyment.