Standing Out and Shining Bright
I consider myself a responsible person. My parents brought me up that way, and I am grateful for that as I think it’s important to be dependable. You give me a task, and I get it done. And while that’s who I am there is another part of me, too. A part that is hesitant in fully taking responsibility for my life, my choices, my feelings, my thoughts. It’s just sometimes sooo much easier to put the blame for things in my life on someone else. And presumable it makes me feel better, too.
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a coaching friend of mine about how common it is for us humans to not be willing to be fully responsible for our own lives, and how detrimental that is for our capacity to have the power to manage and change our lives. Then last week while I was doing some mundane office things I suddenly had this awareness of how often I place the responsibility for choices or feelings into other people’s lap and I felt the strong desire to change that as it would make me be more free and independent. Independent not in the “I don’t need your help or support” kind of way, but by being self-reliant. And it will also support me in another why not: being different and standing out. All of us I think enjoy being special, it makes us feel good. Being different? Not so much. It’s often uncomfortable to stick out like a sore thumb, at least for me it is. It often makes me wonder what others think or how they feel about me.
Yet for the vision I have it’s inevitable for me to stand out. And as challenging as this already is for me, there’s a step further down the road of my vision: shining, for who I am, for my gifts and talents and for the way I can help the world become a better place. Oooooh, now there is a part in me for which that is an almost unbearable thought. But that’s where my new “super power” comes into play: being fully responsible for me aka self-reliant. It will help me to not care about what other people think of me, I will not let them have power over how I feel about myself anymore, but I will decide for myself what I want, how I feel and what I do. I know there’s still a lot of progress to make, but that is a part of my vision worth working for!