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Date Night

 In Weekly Forum Discussion

I want to share with you something interesting about helping others which might be obvious but still is thrilling if you’re in the process of learning it as I am.

Currently there is a lot of feeling alone and lonely in my life. Now don’t get your tissues out just yet. It’s not as heartbreaking as it sounds, but rather a reaction to the situations I’ve been in lately. I have been traveling and therefore spending a lot of time with other people in what I consider one of most pleasant ways: I was able to choose, to choose whether to be on my own or spend time with all kinds of people around me. Now as I’m back home there just aren’t as many people available at any given moment plus I’m missing quite a handful of wonderful new friends I’ve made there.

So this contrast is what brings on these feelings of loneliness. I have experienced this before in my life, e.g. when I was at big conventions for a couple of days, again with lots of people. I guess these feelings are kind of like the counter part to my ability to connect so quickly with other people and also feel connected to them. It usually goes away after a couple of days as I get busy with my life again. Yet due to the way my life is set up right now I’m having too much time on my hands not only to feel but also to get thinking – not a good combination!

So I’ve been wondering about what to do to feel better, as knowing this process doesn’t make the feelings any more pleasant. And the insight I got was simple: serve aka help others. As it sometimes happens with simple insights I forgot it again for a couple of days, days in which my feelings worsened, but luckily I was told again.

A dear friend of mine is currently having a hard time in her life, esp. in her marriage. One evening as I was getting ready for bed I had the sudden impulse to offer her to babysit her adorable almost two year old son so she and her husband could go out and have some quality time together. The next morning she called me, and we talked about the babysitting and the situation in general, and while we still have to find a date for their time out she asked me to give her some of my personal thoughts concerning certain situations in her life that cause her a lot of stress and then result in more stress with her hubby.

After I hung up I realized how amazing I felt, connected, confident, giving, just plain happy. And while it seemed I helped her helping helped me. Exactly what my guiding system was trying to point me to.

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