Compliments Are A Form of Currency

 In Weekly Forum Discussion

I love to pay a compliment and I love to receive one. Both give me energy. I think that’s what I love about it, to get an extra boost of energy, love, appreciation, kindness,…, no matter on which side of the compliment I am.

There are compliments I can anticipate, mostly because I have received them a number of times. Which doesn’t make them any less valued, especially in moments when I lack certainty or feel unhappy with myself. Those are the moments when e.g. “You’re looking great today!” feels like a pair of well-worn jammies that fit and make me feel warm, cozy and at home.

When compliments come from people I least expect, it is a surprise for me that in the past often gave me an opportunity to change the way I saw them because the way people connect through a compliment is different to me than mere conversation. In order to pay as well as to receive a genuine compliment you have to be open to be vulnerable. When it’s an authentic compliment and not mere empty talk it’s a shared moment of truth. Both parties need to be able to stand in truth for a compliment to be a great exchange of energy. This might also be the reason why it feels so awkward, sometimes downright painful when I pay someone a sincere compliment, and they don’t receive it because they are not able or willing to see themselves the way I see them in that moment. It feels as if I carefully selected and wrapped a present to lift someone up and it falls flat.

But then again I myself had to learn to be open to receive compliments. Years ago someone taught me to simply say “Thank you!” and smile. To this day that seems to be the best way for me, especially when occasionally I get a compliment that makes me feel uncomfortable for a second.

A few days ago a friend of mine called me ultra-feminine. To understand what she meant I made her go into detail. It was interesting to listen to her because it allowed me to see myself through her eyes and from a new perspective. Never before would I have ever called myself ultra-feminine, but I started to see what she meant. And ever since then when I go into the energy of her compliment by quoting her: “I’m ultra-feminine.” it makes me smile and gives me a warm yummy happy feeling inside. That’s because it’s true and therefore resonates with me. Her compliment allowed me to see myself differently, to correct the view I had of myself.

Compliments are an awesome currency to pay our tribute to others, to let them know how we really see them. And they are a wonderful way to receive love and appreciation from others. Whether it’s by spoken words, a smile, an embrace, a gift, a handwritten card, …, it’s such a unique way to connect with each other and potentially lift both parties at the same time.

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