The Special Event is ME!

Well, this should be fun!

I went to get my hair done. I didn’t get it cut … I got it washed and styled and it looked fant-freakin’-tastic! Oh yah! You don’t even want to know how extraordinary I looked. That’s right, I walked into the salon and asked them if they had any room. They did.

The young woman behind the counter asked me several questions. “Are you looking for a cut too?” “Nope, just a ‘style’.” “Is that your natural colour? Good for you. You’re lucky you’re not fully dying your hair yet! You know though, a warm shade like a dark cognac or golden brown would add some dimension to your natural colour! It would look really good on you! Have you considered some colour?” I say, “Nope, just a style.” It’s clear to me that I just got a backhanded compliment and called – if not quite old -‘oldesque’. Silencio! Nope, she’s not finished.

“So, special event?” Nope, I just wanted to get my hair styled.” “Meeting someone special?” It is clear to me that she’s wanting to know if I’m trying to impress a boy (or girl or anyone or anything capable of being impressed) She’s smiling. I smile back and say “Sure. Yah.” I want it to stop without offending her. I also don’t want to destroy her romantic notions with the truth about what impresses adult men and women. My experience is that if I walk in with a great head of hair, I get the obligatory “You look good” or if I actually look good I may get “Wow! You look great!” I wouldn’t call it impressive and the effort is forgotten in a second.

I couldn’t possibly tell her that I’ve been around long enough to know that a decent monologue of dirty talk wouldn’t only be impressive and hard to forget, but if it’s coming from yours truly, it will turn a face a nice shade of crimson. If I’m with a like-minded spirit, I may not get them blushing but the initial shock and dirty grin that follows is rather indescribable.

She’s very cute and I’m sure she talks several people into more, but not this woman. I know what I want and it’s just a simple style with a decent amount of body since my hair is about as flat as a model trying to pull off the ‘heroin chic’ look.

My stylist is young and flamboyant and asks me what I want. Great start. I like him already. “Well doll? What can I do for you?” I almost look behind me to see if he’s speaking to someone else but, no, his eyes are on me. I think I would have preferred that he call me a “broad”. He’s very nice and I tell him I want body and a simple hairstyle.

He asks me where I’m going “Like, what’s it for? Where are to heading tonight, hon? Do you want an updo?” I’m not sure why simple isn’t computing. I say, “Nowhere. I just felt like getting my hair done. Just for myself. No updo. Just a wash and style with some body” … (so I can flip my hair up in the bathroom a few times and tell myself I’m quite cute, but I don’t tell him that part). He laughs and says “What a great idea! Well, good for you!” I contemplate his response. I’m pretty sure women still get their hair done just because… okay, not like in the fifties and early sixties but it’s still a thing, right? In fairness to him, i dont look like a woman who gets her hair done just because. He jerks me from my thoughts with “Oh, body! I can give anyone body!” Great, I know she’s well over 50 but Christie Brinkley’s will do. He responded in a way that told me he was up for the hair challenge. It would take a miracle to give me Ms. Brinkley’s body. Ah, it would bite to maintain it anyway.

He got to work after washing my hair and massaging my scalp… I may take his hands home, bless his heart! He got to work, alright! Well, let me tell you … my hair was something else! It was quite the style. What I saw in the mirror was a massive bouffant … I mean, I looked like someone that hung out with Jackie O but couldn’t quite get it right! I’m sure she had someone in her life like that. It’s like the guy crossed paths with the flash image of the fifties in my mind!

It took everything not to laugh. I mean, everything. He was a sweetheart and I didn’t have the heart to tell him it looked ridiculous but I’m pretty sure he knew I found it humorous or else I popped a happy pill when he wasn’t looking. I actually told him, “It looks great!” but the fact that I was trying to hold back laughter with tremendous effort proved that I thought otherwise. I thanked him and paid at the front, leaving him a generous tip. After all, he made my day! It was the most fun I’ve had all week.

I got in the car and laughed so hard I was brought to tears. I realized that there was no way I would be able to flip my hair in the mirror. Heck, a twister wouldn’t move this oversprayed cap of something resembling hair.

When I got home I realized I had quite the experience! I politely shut down missy at the front from selling me products and services I didn’t want. I know what I want. I opted to be kind instead of irate after the worst hairdo I’ve ever had. I do think effort counts… we can’t just tell our kids that and than not reward it!

I even learned that I have absolutely no problem walking out looking stupid. It took a long time to get to this place.

I’m in the elevator with a sweet ‘Betty Crocker’ lady that looks like she gets her hair done every Sunday before church. She compliments me on my hair. I thanked her with the dumbest smile on my face. If I were her I would have found the Cheshire cat smile a little creepy but no … that woman may look cute but I have the feeling she was a ‘dame’ in her day and I don’t scare her. I want to be her when I grow up.

After looking at myself in the mirror and trying out “Oh, I’ve got to go sweetie. I’ve got to make me some pie and vacuum before he gets home”, I take a shower. I know it’s weird, but trust me when I tell you that if you were wearing what I was on my head, you wouldn’t be able to resist either. It’s great to be in 2017 where lifestyle and hairdo trends have changed and I’m allowed not to give a damn.