I am a very intense person. I am here to live life to the fullest therefor my emotions are intense also. I love hard, cry hard, work hard, play hard and can worry like a mad woman if I’m not careful.
I can be so happy that I feel like I may explode, I can feel so heartbroken that I feel like I can’t take another breath. I can feel like I’m successful and standing on top of the world, and I can feel like I’m going to burst with rage at times at things that seem unfair.
I have learned that by living my life to the fullest doing what I love as often as I can, I can create a life with more laughter, less anger and fewer tears. I realize that I am only angry when I allow people to hurt me, and I am mostly sad when I’ve lost something that I love. The only way to make those losses seem manageable is to run full speed ahead doing everything that I love so that when that loss happens, I can feel like I could do no more.
I know I’ve tried my best and I took the time to make the best out of this life with those that I love. This way I can sleep well at night knowing I’ve laughed and enjoyed life as much as possible. I do the right thing as much as I can so that when I am accused of doing something I didn’t do instead of getting angry I can walk away knowing that those things just aren’t true. I have learned that the best way to set me up for success is to live each day like it’s the last. This leaves me content which ensures many of my days are positive.
I want to control my emotions not have people control them for me.
I admire you for many reasons, and I also admire people like you – the ones who live life to the fullest. Either I’m not living life to the fullest, or I don’t understand what living to the fullest means for me personally and so I constantly think I’m not. I’m happy to see that you understand what it means to you and you feel fulfilled by it. I’m trying to work out what it means…for me.
As I was grieving this week, a friend shared something with me: “You make the most of your experiences with people, especially the ones you are fond of. I admire that most about you. Of course you knew him, ’cause you really make that effort with people.”
It comforted me, but it also made me think that while I’m not sure I am living the full life, or have defined it for myself, I do live to the fullest with the people I find along the way. I make sure to always tell people that I appreciate them, to thank them, and to tell them how much I care for them. Also, hugs. Lots of hugs.