For a few weeks now I felt disconnected from a certain girl friend. We hadn’t argued or anything, we just didn’t have the same level of communication we used to. Even when we saw each other it wasn’t like before. And she didn’t react the same way e.g. on What’s App as she used to. She usually is very light and bright and funny. Got me wondering, I knew she was having a hard time with certain things including being burned out. But still it was weird, and inwardly I reacted emotionally. Today she called asking if I had time to come visit her, and I did. It turned out that in the meantime her life has taken on a new direction. She is pregnant with her second child, quite unplanned, and it changes a lot. Plus because of her health state prior to that it is not easy for her.
It was really good to spend time with her and give each other updates on our lives. I didn’t tell her about my emotional reaction to this disconnection, because that is my stuff. But I told her I had missed her and had felt disconnected from her. It was nice to hear her say she had felt the same and was happy to have me visit.
Interesting, not only how happy I am that everything is feeling o.k. again for me, but also to have seen how my reaction was my stuff, my “problem”, and to see how admitting to have missed her and feeling disconnected reconnected us again.
It’s funny isn’t it? We often get so worked up for nothing. I do anyways. I often way overthink these things wondering what I did wrong and so on. Almost always it has nothing to even do with me. Interesting.
I’ve gone through this with friends too, Sabine. In fact, I have one where I do feel disconnected right now, but have also come to realize she’s going through something right now and it’s not about me. I went through these feelings too and have expressed how much I care for her and that I am here when she’s ready to talk, should she need me. That reconnected us a little bit. I think it’s great that you both found your way back to each other and the self-awareness is a great accomplishment – being able to work through it. Well done!