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Letting Go

 In Weekly Forum Discussion, Writer in Residence

Written by: Collette Cottingham; Creatively Hip

 

I am afraid of letting go. The fear cripples me. Letting go sounds simple to do, but it isn’t.

When you grasp a rope it can be difficult to let go. If I let go someone could fall, or if I am hanging on for dear life then I could fall. If you are on a team letting go will affect your teammates. It is paralyzing to let go when you are falling into the unknown.

I held my grandpa’s hand. He wiped my tears and asked me to let him go. It was painful and difficult. I granted his wish and let him go. Letting Grandpa go is the first painful memory I have.

A beautiful friendship that brought me so much joy for years slowly turned toxic. I had to let go for my own peace. I look back on our friendship with a smile. This was a very scary decision. In the end, it worked out for both of us.

When my children grew into amazing adults I beamed with pride. I was also faced with great sadness. My children didn’t need me anymore.

My children are leading their own lives. They have families, careers, bills, friends and responsibilities. How was I going to be a part of their world? I had to let go. Our relationships changed.

The love is still there. The love is the same. How we connect and interact is different. The way I fit into their world had to change. My job is done. I can step back and enjoy the view. My children don’t need to be parented. I had to let go.

I am still working on letting go of my ex-husband. He is still here in my mind. I am afraid. He said I couldn’t succeed without him and that I was nothing. His daily insults were painful and soul-crushing. What if he is right? If I let him go will I fail and become nothing?

I am slowly letting pieces of him go. It is a gradual process. The pain was gut-wrenching in the beginning. Today it is easier. Without him around I am relaxed around my family. I show off my silly side. I can function, pay my bills and achieve goals without him.

I now have my own dreams. I travel and have fun. He is not present on most days. Eventually, I will have the strength and confidence to let go of that rope forever.

Letting go is painful, things change in a positive and negative way. Either way I mourn. The tears help me prepare for the next step. I release the weight from the rope. The realization of what I have done is quite overwhelming. After the tears I am ready for the next step.

Letting go is the beginning of something new, a new road, a new adventure or a new happiness.

This week I let go of my old job duties for new ones. This is a scary time. I know I am capable to tackle the new opportunities before me. I got this.

What are you letting go of this week?

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